Urge Surfing for Maps

Some maps talk about having the urge to offend. Others are troubled by their thoughts, although they know that they won't offend. A technique called "urge surfing" might help prevent offending and help maps to accept their thoughts.

"Urge surfing" is a mindfulness practice that promotes "surfing" urges -- staying aware of the ebbs and flows of your urges -- instead of suppressing them. When you have urges or troubling thoughts, "surfing" the waves of them may help, rather than trying to suppress them. Suppressing urges often makes them worse. Instead, urge surfing encourages people to stay present with their urges non-judgmentally.

How do I know this will help? My therapist at first encouraged me to try to suppress my map-related sexual thoughts, which just ended up making them more prevalent. Instead, what has helped me is my therapist's assurance that there is nothing wrong with my thoughts and that I should accept them. Urge surfing is a way of accepting these thoughts, while also helping to prevent offending.

Note that I'm not saying that having urges to offend counts as an addictive behavior. It doesn't. But people have all kinds of urges that can be damaging; the urge to use alcohol or drugs isn't the only urge that techniques like urge surfing can help with.

If you feel that you're at risk of offending, or you're troubled by sexual thoughts about children or teens, listen to the recording halfway down this page (courtesy of the University of Washington's Addictive Behaviors Research Center).

Remember to ride the waves and enjoy the sun and the surf, regardless of what kind of thoughts you have.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Introduction I was first introduced to the concept of maps, or “minor attracted people,” while browsing the dash of my now-defunct Tumblr account. This was probably about five years ago, back when Tumblr was still relevant, at least among millennials like me. I never interacted with any maps myself, but I started seeing warnings popping up from my social justice-oriented followers: Maps, or so these posts informed me, were pedophiles using the Tumblr platform to prey on minors. The posts claimed that the cutesy name was a way for pedophiles to rebrand themselves and hide what they really supported. This was, supposedly, grooming minors into having sex with them, and child sexual abuse of all kinds. Another popular subject of these posts was the fact that maps were supposedly calling themselves “pedosexual,” and wanted to turn the LGBT community into the LGBTP community. I actually lost a fair number of Tumblr followers during this time for naively using the LGBTP a

When Pro-Shippers Turn on MAPs

Like many people on the internet, I enjoy writing fanfiction and participating in fandom. Besides writing fanfiction, I’m mainly a lurker. I like to follow people who create content for my fandoms, and quietly retweet their posts, gifsets, and other fandom content. There’s one problem: I’m also a paraphiliac, specifically a minor-attracted person (map). I’m also anti-contact, meaning I am very opposed to the idea of adults having sex or romantic relationships with minors. What this all means is that while I find a few minors attractive, I’m never going to act on it. I’m non-exclusive and am mostly attracted to adults. In a perfect world, my paraphilia wouldn’t be a big deal. Unfortunately, maps are incredibly stigmatized and stereotyped. The word “map” sends the average twitter user into a moral panic, invoking visions of pedophilic zealots who prey on and groom young children over the internet. Anyone who has had any interaction with the map community would know that this is

Being Transage is Valid

Content warning for suicide and sexual abuse You may have heard of transage people: people who feel that they are internally a different age than their physical, chronological age. When I first heard that some people were calling themselves transage, I was skeptical, to say the least. The entire concept seemed to be brimming with transphobia. How could anyone compare the multifaceted experience of being transgender to simply feeling like they were a different age? However, I knew that it was valid that some people could feel like they were a different age than they were physically – after all, it had happened to me. I went through an almost unbelievable amount of trauma when I turned 21. To begin with, I’d transferred colleges, lost most of my friends, and started failing classes because I didn’t have the energy to show up to them. I’d suddenly developed debilitating depression so bad that I could barely get out of bed, as well as chronic pain so severe that I began thinking abou

Kids Can't Consent

Search This Blog